From Dead to Being alive

A person is dead when he doesn’t get time to reflect on his life and just think about what he is doing and why he is doing. For past 6-7 months i had been so immersed in the career pursuit that i forgot living. I forgot eating on time, bathing, talking to friends and even going out and having fun. I believed that if i do all this I would be happy, I would be alive as I would have a wonderful opportunity in my hand which will ┬ámake me feel happy, which will make me feel alive.

But It didn’t

I was phased out in the pursuit, it felt nothing is normal. I was becoming a zombie of my own creation who will not even pursue the things which he used to love a lot. And the biggest one of them was to pen my thoughts down. I created a website but i was no longer updating it. I had things to learn but I was not learning them.

I decided to change

I decided to write, I decided to bring those thoughts about life to reality so that I can feel liberated, joyful and happy again.

I am giving that try again, I am going to write because I want to feel alive again



When one door closes, Another Opens


, , , ,

Have you ever felt that somebody has closed that one door which meant everything for you at that point of time ?
Have you ever felt that you had become dependent on that particular opportunity that nothing else is working out for you ?

It’s time..!! It’s just about time that a new door is going to open for you

And let me tell you, that door is going to be the most amazing one.

I had all hopes lost, I have given up on people and people had given up on me

I was all alone left with my unbearable behaviour. People around me were leaving me and I was also leaving people who loved me. I was moving towards solitude putting myself into a cage where nobody can reach me and I can reach nobody


While pursuing this, I saw the biggest hope of my life time coming my way this was the biggest one, bigger than what I have ever expected
This wave if I am successfully able to ride, I might be able to reach to the top where I desired. At that time, I would really thank the people who abandoned me that they threw so many stones at me that I ultimately formed a bridge out of it
And this bridge was one of the most formidable one. The one which goes beyond to beyond..

I wish.. This wish comes true.. I see the Ray of hope.. I see a door opening.. I wish I can reach there.. Grab the control and open the new door to the new destination of my life..!!

Expendable or Indispensable: You define your own destiny


, , , , ,

There are times when you feel that you have become an integral part of an organization or integral part of another person. This can be in any form, in the form of employee or in the form of friend.
What matters at that point of time is whether you are beneficial for the other person or not. The moment you exhaust yourself in the form of employee or in the form of friend and you are no longer able to contribute towards the positive growth it is the time when the other person will ask you to let go.
At that time you should accept it gracefully and leave as the person no longer sees a positive prospect in you. He will find every other good reason to get rid off you.
In your life there comes an important question do you want to be expendable or you want to be indispensable

The moment you are asked to leave a sense of ego propels in you which wants to show other person that this is the wrong choice they have made and you are better than that. You strive working to prove to others to that you are awesome instead of looking at the fact that you indeed are awesome for yourself no matter what but at this point of time you are somebody who can be replaced by somebody else

You are indeed not an essential or absolutely necessary wheel of the car you are not even the spare wheel which is kept in the car. You are a wheel which is reducing the speed of the car as you cant match the speed of the car and you don’t fit in there. After riding few kilometers you have realized that you and them are in totally different league all together.
The interesting thing is that you have given them an opportunity to behave with you as a wheel which is not useful

What can be done?

Now as the car doesn’t want you, car will throw you out eventually, you can look for other cars, fit there and showcase the original owner that they have made a wrong choice or you can focus on yourself that how do you make yourself indispensable

I underwent a similar circumstances where an employer didn’t find my domain knowledge and ability sound enough to couple with works being offered, but there was another catch the employer wasn’t offering enough to earn my loyality
Least to say offering enough not offering at all. I worked because I wanted to learn, learn and become better, it was utilized as I am being desperate to find something useful in life.
After having lost that respect i have and being referred to all the technical work menial like technician although I don’t dislike any work. Time had come, it was to axe me down. Employer felt hard to let me go but I really doubted that reason being I knew if anybody question the authority of employer he is all set to be gone.

So now what are the options left with me and what I thought in should do

1. Slap the employer by getting a better place and showing them what a gem they lost
2. Look into myself and think about the fact what made me expendable
3. What are the best ways I can make big in my life.

I reflected myself on these three points to realize that I have to focus on pt no 2 & 3. To hell with the employer and their thinking. I have to focus on making the best version if myself. The ultimate version which is not expendable instead is the most valuable asset which cannot be expended at any cost

What changes when you become indispensable

1. You become more confident and you start reflecting on you what you are good at and how you can be best at it
2. You look forward for improving yourself than condemning others
3. Your ability matter to you more than anybody else

So finally I have decided, I will learn the things which make me the best version of myself and one of its kind in the world
No matter what

That looks fine as a new year resolution

Lets do it

Lets become indispensable…!!

The last leg | Wedding in Kerala


, , ,

I travel very frequently to Kerala and most of the people think that I am married to a girl in Kerala or I have a girlfriend in Kerala.
But none of all those claims hold good. I go to Kerala just to attend weddings.

All my friends who are from Kerala are getting married in spree. All my masters degree batchmates will be out of bachelor life as soon as arun gets married on 3rd January

Next there will be some people from my lab who are yet to get married but I am sure that they are not going to invite me. So this could be my last Kerala wedding to attend.
I take immense pleasure in telling you that my friend arun has finally found partner of his life
A partner who will help her in overcoming all the obstacles in the life
Marriage is such an interesting ceremony untill unless you are a part of it.

This marriage is going to be exciting as I have already backpacked on day 1 of new year
Let’s see what this year brings to me
Happiness, prosperity or experiences

Whatever it brings, I will accept it and move on. After all it is a Present and nobody should throw it off

Seeing the current circumstances.. I will be always busy with myself that I won’t be able to give care and people will leave me eventually

So lets make the best out of the time I have got on planet earth and be part of other people’s happiness and joy

Spirit of Chennai: My New year | My way


, , , , , ,

Every Newyear’s eve is special and it has brought something great out of me. In past 4 years my new years went as following

2012- Was watching a Movie and it happened

2013- I was in IIT Madras hostel, and i went to each hostel room to wish them happy new year

2014- Was enjoying on East Coast road with bunch of close buddies

2015: Was moaning the loss of one of the closest buddy

2016— Here it is

Worked my ass off like a sincere Ph.D student till 9 pm. Finally to see lab become a deserted place. Decided that its time to please myself. Best way to please myself is not the spirits if you are thinking after reading the title. It was food. I craved to have grilled chicken, I went to Neama next to velachery gate and had a FULL grill Chicken for myself. Yeaa, Full indeed that too for a single person. It was so delicious with the different sauces and kuboos. An amazing arabian delicacy it was. While writing about it i can really feel the juicy succulent meat in my mouth


Devoured it and realized that this was just a starter. Then hopped off from this restaurant to another one, where I had my favourite Bullseye or Half boil. And took a lemonade. Followed by Schezwan Chicken Fried rice and Chicken Chilly. Then to end the meal i had another lemonade.img_1548.jpghalfboileggomeletterecipe



After enjoying the delicious food, i felt that i should have my Ginger tea, I have a habit to have tea after my dinner meal.

In the meanwhile, my friend goutham pinged, whats the plan I said eating and was thinking will catch up a night show in LUXE after the meal. Looked for tickets it was houseful, it seemed like there were many more intelligent people like me who wanted to welcome new year while watching movie.

Then goutham told, shall we go around chennai on Bike to see the celebration around. It felt exciting i told an instant yes and ask him to come fast. He as usual slower than girls in turning up was around an hour late. I came to my hostel room and was watching videos about the border disputes.

He came at 11 pm, and we started the ultimate fun loving journey to watch the spirit of chennai to celebrate new year. We decided to go to thiruvanmiyur beach. we managed to put some shortcuts and we reached their by 11:30

Voila, generally there is not even a single soul in beach, but it seemed like a lot of people, the beach was swarmed with people. People from all walks of life, young, old , gals , boys, aunties. I was seeing a different chennai.

Is this the same chennai which was battling with floods and now exactly 30 days later people are in full spirit to welcome the new year. There were some spirtual souls who were out with booze but nobody was in beach who was drinking, all drank their enough share and were having in the beach.

Young guys were dragging each other to pull them in beach, others were sitting talking, some were playing with colorful light bulbs, some were taking rides, some were looking at the sky and dreaming and yeaah most of them were full on in energy to dance.

Who says you need money to celebrate, you just need to go to beach side and you will see an awesome celebrations. We moved from one end of the beach to another. we spotted some gals as well. Then we finally decided to get a couple of kulfi for us. we thought prices will be inflated seeing the large number of people and less number of icecream vendors but it was the same as on normal days. We ate our kulfi and we were walking on the beach.

Goutham went to waterside in the beach to wash his sticky hands after having kulfi. I pushed him further. It seemed his pockets were shallow and his REDmi 1s, his prized possession was lost amidst the sea water. He started searching for it. One thing i observed, he was calm. he was not panicked. it taught me a lesson that being furious wont help even however bad the situation. Keep calm and let it come.

it was just 15 minutes before new year he lost his 15 months old phone, but his spirit was still enlighted to see the people bursting crackers and i could see the light in his eyes, full of excitement. There were fireworks all over the place. People with drums were also around apart from that, some sand artist had drawn on the sand, happy new year.

We were enjoying the fun of fireworks and dance of the drunken wizards. as the clock ticked, people started counting with it and dancing, everybody seemed to be happy there was a positive energy flowing, I could sense the spirit of chennai coming back after being flooded just a month back

As clock struck 12, everybody started wishing everybody, there was no discrimination on the basis of class, caste, creed, religion as there were only three words on the people’s mouth and those were Happy New year.

Shaking hands hugging and wishing happy new year… Almost 100’s of people wished me and i wished 100’s more without knowing them, all was happening automatically it was an amazing feeling.

Then we decide to move to besant nagar beach. As we took our bike out, we were struck in traffic. Guess why the traffic, because people were stopping and wishing each other happy new year.

Some of them were climbing on top of their cars and some even on others car. People were dancing in full enjoyment, cars opened their windows blew up their stereo and people were dancing around it.

I also disembarked the bike and was helping in clearing the traffic, wishing people and dancing also. This was the fun part, you dont even know and people come to you to wish you happy new year. it was indeed amazing. We decided to go to bessy and on the whole way there people tripling or even quadrapling on the bikes, only three words happy new year.

We finally reached bessy amidst all this chaos, bessy was 10 times more swarmed with people, on roads there were more heads than vehicles, it looked amazing, shops were open. We decided to go to church to pay our holy regards as this was christian new year mainly. There were people people every where, we were getting moved by the crowd and crowd was getting moved by us.

After taking the blessings for the year, we decided to come back, throughout our wayback from the beach to campus, we saw people wishing new year and doing stunt on bikes, police was rendered helpless.

Everybody was having fun, Church near IIT gate had caused long queues of car due to lack of parking.

We also observed lot of people fighting on roads creating jams in the influence of alcohol. We entered campus, it was few degrees cooler inside. We decided to go to RAMU for tea. In the middle we wished new year to all bunches of people we met.

At ramu had tea, met some people who also had gone to beach but we never met them there. Then I also met akhil who had come to see a concert at musical academy. After tea back to room, but night was still on.

We started watching movie gridiron gang on full volume, and in the meanwhile movie got over it was 5:30 in the morning.

To summarize, we realized the spirit of chennai without getting influenced by the spirit and celebrated the new year my way.

Life is exciting and beautiful, if you see it that way. Else its not..


All the best for the year ahead, i will keep coming with exciting adventures for you.