And they Changed..!!

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There was a time when everything seem to be as right as a fairy tale, where an angel comes to rescue you from your worst showing you that ray of light that way of hope.

At that time the angel just belonged to you, taking care of all your needs and sadness and suddenly that angel realized that they had come closer not because you needed them but because they needed you to check whether their magic really works

Once upon a time, there were inseparable friends Radhika and Ramesh, they used to take care of each other and look for wellness of each other. But Radhika used to take more care of Ramesh. Ramesh was more intellectual kind, he helped Radhika in the beginning, Radhika was a fast learner, learnt everything very fast and now Radhika believed whatever they knew it was because of Ramesh. But Ramesh didn’t pay much heed to Radhika’s needs. he was more obsessed with other problems in their life and had one undiminished EGO of being the best. Radhika tried caring more and more but Ramesh never cared. Then Radhika found another person who was equally talented as Ramesh and as a matter of fact. Radhika started growing close to Suresh. Now Radhika and Suresh were close to each other. Ramesh hated suresh desperately and didnt wanted radhika to listen to suresh in any way possible. Ramesh started distancing even further and stopped helping radhika all together. She had nowhere to go. Suresh was only taking care of her more than anybody. But Ramesh’s jealousy grew out of bound and he started undermining Radhika everywhere whereas Suresh used to boost the morale of Radhika.

Ramesh also started looking for option and found one alternative in the form of Mohita to share everything. Now Radhika was deeply offended, She got another person say Kamesh in her life. This person kamesh was the closest radhika can ever get to.. Ramesh didnt knew about kamesh but after some time ramesh started realizing mistake. kamesh and radhika were together for sometime and kamesh had developed some fondness for radhika. Now ramesh started coming back, he tried all measures to win back radhika. All sorts of emotional drama. Finally he was succesful in distancing radhika from everybody. Kamesh and suresh no longer enticed radhika. They were now reduced to just occasional friends

Radhika distanced herself from kamesh and suresh to keep ramesh happy and started blaming them that they dont have time for anymore and ramesh is a very good guy who has all the time in the world for her.  And slowly Kamesh & Suresh started moving out completely out of Radhika’s’s life

And now is the time that Radhika is no longer with any of them but with ramesh. both of them  feel very awkward, they feel used..!!

Radhika used them totally. She told them that she needed them to get over ramesh. And she will never return to him. But instead she abandoned them for no reasons.

d3065ce77a99c9ed6153a2066abf068d.1000x750x1Moral of the story is the Love or relationship which are born out of hatred of any other person don’t last longer. Because the person always wants to go back to the original person and you cant stop them from doing the same

So all the guys and gals who are looking to get the gal or boy of their choice by breaking the existing relationship should think that whatever they are getting is very temporary and it wont be theirs forever as it wasn’t of somebody else.

Trust is something which broken once is difficult to be mend. Now Radhika might be happy or not Suresh & kamesh dont care. They feel used. Suresh is engaged with some other perspective. And kamesh is still wondering why this happened to him..!!

Dont ruin anybody’s life JUST to make anybody jealous of your happiness and earn them back..!!

Taken for granted

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Some people say ” Best friends Forever ” and  I love you forever, the moment they say it they are lying to you on your face.. BEWARE..!!

Forever is a term which generally ruins almost every relationship, because people commit what they really can’t deliver and you also fall in trap seeing the commitment and dedication shown by the other person. It is same like mobile phone companies offering the UNLIMITED VALIDITY* with the * mark.
*till  July 2020.

When a mobile company cannot give guarantee for  a materialistic thing for more than 5 years, then how do you think a person can give guarantee of being the same forever, loving in the same manner forever.

The problem is not with saying that statement without meaning it, problem goes much beyond that. The problem is the moment you say that you are going to be there forever for somebody time and again, they start taking you granted. They think for this guy/gal is here to stay let me finish other prior works first.

What all things happen when you are put into FRIENDS FOREVER | LOVER FOREVER | TAKEN FOR GRANTED ZONE

  1. Phone calls: There was a time when your call was of utmost importance and they will do anything to just talk to you for few seconds. But after TAKEN for GRANTED,  you will be told, I have been too busy lately, so many works to do, my boss has given me a lot of work I cannot do, I have umpteen number of things to do, you mean a lot to me. I HOPE YOU WILL UNDERSTAND.
    This phrase I hope you will understand is very critical, You cant say NO as it is going to ruin whatever relation you have, and you dont want to say YES as your innerself knows that you are being put into TAKEN for GRANTED zone
  2. Meeting in person: Actually I wanted to meet you, I have been waiting very desperately, but what to say the time and circumstances are not favoring, pressure is piling up from all sides, Avalanche is happening. I dont know which side to contain first, i know you will be always there so I thought I need not worry about you, you are such an understanding person. So what that we are not able to meet, So what that we are not there. Our relationship goes beyond phone calls, messages and meeting in person. I am trying my level best to find some time to meet you. These and all will start happening if you are being TAKEN FOR GRANTED.  If not, if you are not in the taken for granted zone, they will not say anything about their problems rather than that they will schedule calendar, find the slightest time available to spend with you in whatever location, May it be lunch break during the office or even ask you to walk with them after office, or even ask you to accompany to travel back with you in bus or train. So its not about time, its about you landing up in a zone called taken for granted zone
  3. Discussing NON SENSE: While they got an opportunity to find some time to call you or meet you, they will not talk about you two, they will talk about some third person who has suddenly entered their life, the lost friend or some interesting events which are happening in the family. More than your well being, it is important for them to ask and tell about what their neighbor or their colleague has done to them. because they know you are there thus you will be alright only, who cares.. So when the conversation between two individuals are not about themselves but one person keeps on talking about somebody else then you have been surely moved into that zone called TAKEN FOR GRANTED. There was a time when you loved discussing likes, dislikes, opinions, circumstances and many more things which are relevant to you two, the next vacation, the next holiday, the next weekend. But now suddenly you have been put into a zone called taken for granted
  4. Text Messages: There was a time when Good morning, Good evening, Good night were the customary messages. Asking did u had Breakfast, lunch and dinner used to a pattern. But slowly over the period of time reply for Hi, How are you also takes a long time to reply. There was a time when there used to be an instantaneous reply to the messages either as text message or whatsapp message. Now there will be times you will be talking to the same person in a whatsapp group but they wont bother to reply to your personal message. Being busy and not able to respond is one thing and not talking or replying as it is no longer interesting or you have been taken for granted is another thing. Taken for granted is something which you wont feel but over the period of time realize that it has happened

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What happens if you confront the person that he/ She has started taken you for granted?

  • They might not agree to you and tell you that you are thinking too much and you should not do the same, they are the same. it is just that you are thinking beyond what you should do
  • They might apologise and say this will not happen again but repeat it again because it has become a habit, it is no longer something which they can relearn. They need to unlearn and learn, which is a daunting task
  • They might pick up a fight back, asking why you have become so irritating suddenly that you are confronting them. And generally at this point of time, if both the partners become impatient and dont listen properly it might lead to a bad break in the relationship
  • They might start saying that, have you found somebody else and you want to leave me, get rid off me as m no longer important in your life, But the actual reality is while taking you for granted they left you long back and the relationship was holding because the other person wanted to give ample amount of time before making a move

WHAT IS THE SOLUTION?

Solutions to these cases are very simple, but generally they are not taken and relationship goes for a toss

  • Time: The person who is being taken for granted should leave the person as it is whatever the other person want to do, dont trouble them anyhow. Let them do whatever they want to do. Over the period of time if they realize on their own that is the best way to solve this problem as one person cannot change the habit unless they commit or convict themselves to make this work between you and that cannot happen without realization
  • Talk it out: Although this is a good solution but it is a temporary one, you might feel good temporarily but if the person keeps on taking you for granted for a long period of time, you might feel frustrated and eventually leave. Thus this doesn’t form that concrete solution

To find absolute solution for any philosophical and relationship problem is always not possible. The only way out is give time and observe rather than take hasty decision.

After all taken for granted is a perspective problem, while you are feeling that you are being taken for granted, other person might also feel the same from your side..!! It depends which side of wall you are standing..!!

But reality is Nothing lasts forever till you really want it to..!!

A moment of Realization

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When I used to stay in my home, i experienced something which made me realize how much do we underrate the things we acquire easily.This was how it ensued-

It was an overcast evening, I was returning  home on my cycle, as I reached my area’s playground, a kid came running to me. It took me a minute to recall who the kid was, but shortly it occurred to me that he was ‘Mohit’,  my younger cousin’s friend who lives not much away from my house.

The kid was glad to see me, he asked me if I could offer him a lift to his place to which I agreed happily as his house was on the way to my home.

The kid joyfully sat behind me on my cycle and started talking, he asked me very innocently “Bhaiyya, Why do you have chubby cheeks?” It made me grin because I thought the kid was just teasing me so I sarcastically questioned him back “Why don’t you have chubby cheeks?” I was prepared to receive another teaser from him, but to my own surprise he answered “Because I don’t have a mother to take care of me and feed me in a loving and caring way that would make my cheeks chubby.” I was taken aback by the answer. Before I could comfort him, we reached his place, He got down my vehicle and gave me a smile which I can’t ever forget in my lifetime, the smile wanted nothing but care. I  recollected myself and reached my place.

Then I was sitting on my couch and was contemplative and I suddenly recalled, there was a suicide not much away from my place, committed by a lady who was continuously  harassed by her husband and that lady was none other than Yash’s mom. I gasped in shock. I felt really pity for the kid but the next moment I recalled, How lucky I am to have such great parents by my side. How much have I underrated the biggest blessing I’ve received from God, I rushed to my mom’s room and gave her a tight hug and started crying like a baby, she asked me if I was okay and I told her the entire story. She too got very emotional and hugged me again.

That day is still fresh in my memory, I feel pity for the kid, but at the same time I’m also very thankful to him because though unknowingly he taught me to be grateful for the things I have in my life and not whine about those which I’m deprived of.

Wouldn’t It have been Great..!!

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The mother was too exhausted after returning from her duty (She had to take care of the dog of a rich man(Saheb) through out the day). Still she started preparing bread (roti) for her children with the  left over wheat in her kitchen. while serving dinner to her children everyone got only a loaf of bread. Her youngest son asked her “Mother how many bread did you prepare for the dog of the Saheb today.”. His mother replied “8 ,4 for lunch and 4 for dinner, but why are you asking this to me “.  Then her son replied “wouldn’t it have been great if I was a dog in the Saheb’s house”.

The mirror can lie. It doesn’t show you what’s inside..!!

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It was a beautiful Monday morning and everybody on the traffic signal wanted to rush towards their destination and in this rush they were just honking as if there is no other tomorrow and more they honk faster they will reach the destination. But actually that honking was irritating most of the people on the road. But to avoid listening to the honking of some people, they also started honking. And it was an utter chaos.

In our life also, we are also rushing towards our goals and in its rush we make a lot of noise in which we want our neighbors, our colleagues to notice us. But as soon as they notice our noise they start producing theirs too and it leads to utter chaos. This noise is nothing but boasting or bragging. Few days back My mother was telling that sheela aunty’s son Rahul is now well settled, married and has got amazing job at tata consultancy and soon he and his wife are expecting. My mother was worried because she didnt had anything to say as for the last 3 years she had been telling that I am doing PhD. So my mother was not so happy as there was nothing much to honk about my life and she felt like that bullock cart on the highway where she had no horns to honk about. Similarly she told about some distant aunt who was always bothered about what i am doing and now my mother was feeling short of words or i would say the horn.

But all the examples above are the IMAGE of a person which have been build by parents, neighbors and relatives. All these image are just for the sake of talking per-say

We know that Rahul might be really happy or at the same time too distressed, nobody knows. We know that the distant aunt might be really curious about me or she might be asking about me just to let my mother down. Or even the person behind you in car, he might be happy that he can overtake you and go forward on road. And he can be the first one to reach office on monday morning, Happy or not nobody knows.

We see everybody through a mirror. When we are driving an automobile we see others in rearview, as rearview mirror says things may be closer than they appear.

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And as we see them we  realise that our life is is going on slow and we start speeding up or honking to move ahead and to achieve more than what we really wanted.

The image in the mirror lies at times. It doesn’t show us what is inside us, instead it shows us a global image which is quiet different and this whole image business causes a lot of peer pressure among colleagues, friends and even relatives.

The mirror can lie. It doesn’t show you what’s inside..!

We believe in the life which is structured/ potrayed or presented and become restless. Mirror tends to lie when we want to see others through our mirror like the rear view mirror.

Live life through the Windshield not as a rearview mirrorwindshield_life2

Look for the opportunities in life which are coming ahead of you, although looking at rearview mirror gives you the happiness that you have achieved a lot but at the same time it is also very distracting to keep an eye on something which is behind you.

Dont Honk, Dont fall in the trap of mirror because

The mirror can lie. It doesn’t show you what’s inside..!!

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