I am 26, And day in and day out, I am posed with this question
When are you going to get married?
As if I don’t get married than this whole world will stop or as if they wont be able to digest the last meal they had
Who asks this question?
- Relatives: All the aunts who are unhappy to see you bachelor and want to enjoy the festivities of your marriage, For them your marriage is the next big thing in their life
I have just one request to all these aunts, I will take you to the treats wherever you want to go..Just dont ask me this question every time I meet you
- Neighbors: For them my marriage is like the biggest thing in their TO DO List, their own kids are married and settled and they make sure that my MOM- DAD feel jealous by seeing their happiness with their grandchild. And that coax them to ask me to get married.
I even told my neighbors- You people are worse than Facebook, you are like that live YouTube channel screwing up my life day in and day out.
And leave that aside, I even told my parents if you want kids to play with just like the neighboring aunt I can get you, there are thousands of kids who want to play, but they want their own grandchild, the one who fulfills their desire of having a heir to the family
- Married Friends: After falling in the trap to get married, they always want you to get married, telling all the advantages of marriage while hiding the shortcomings. They instigate you by all those facebook posts, which say Woww..!!! What a honeymoon, Dude if you had honeymoon have it in private, why you want to have another orgasm on facebook for the same.
In India, Shiv sena blocks public display of affection. Dear Shiv Sainiks, please work on this also and stop this public display of honeymoon so that all the bachelors can rest in peace
- Parents: The day when i graduated first time from college, and their eyebrows frowned when i took up Masters instead of Job and marriage and those eyebrows even grew wider when I chose PhD instead of Job after masters. I have got no comments for parents as their only worry in this whole world is to find a suitable girl for me.
But you must be wondering
WHY anybody wants to stay bachelor? Why I cant get married and put a stop to all this?
Am I impotent ? Am I gay? Do I have somebody in life and parents are not approving?
And the answer is NO..!!
Why it becomes difficult for guy to get married
EXPECTATIONS? HOROSCOPE? Family Status ? ABCDEFGHIJK…. XYZ factors are there
Mother: Girl Should be
- Should know how to cook [ planning to open a restro??]
- Should know how to do daily chores [ looking for a maid or a bride??]
- Should respect them
- Should take care of me
- Should look good when you too stand with each other
- Should have good dressing sense
- Should be adjusting and caring and willing to stay wherever you are
- Should be your side in all the good and bad times
- Should know how to do minimum pooja, Should be a little bit religious
Father: Girl Should be
- Well educated
- Well to do family
- Should be working
- Same Religion [ Does it matter, Dont we have same blood color]
- Same Caste [ Does it even matter, anyhow everybody is educated]
- Horoscope should Match [ Really a astrologer can tell ]
- Minimum Height of 5 Ft 7 Inch [ Looking for a ladder, by the way m 6 ft 2 inches]
- Parents of the girl should approach
- Parents should be humble
Neighboring Aunts and Relatives
- Car, Truck, Bus or Lorry [ As if they want to use it for their travelling]
- Should respect them [ Should she touch your feet whenever you come home]
- Girls parents should give good clothes during the marriage ceremony
- Marriage ceremony should be grand
- Big feast in the marriage
- Shouldn’t restrict you from coming with us
- Shouldn’t stop our activities and become friend with us
- Should be fun loving and jovial
- Should be a good cook and cook delicious meals for them
TELL ME, CAN WE really GET a Girl like that??
And nobody has asked till now that WHAT I WANT?
Because Nobody cares..!! But they will say they all care thats why they are looking for such a good bride for me
I dont want to get married to satisfy any of them, but these expectations take a toll on you.
Sometimes ENGINEERS go through this question can they figure out a gal with who they can go out with
Very difficult right, Very difficult to even find love
What if you find love of your life can you marry her?
Implications when you take a girl you want to marry to your parents
- Application for your love will be scrutinized against all the above criteria, and if any of the above criteria is not satisfied, you would be told that you cannot marry that girl,
- Although, they wont say NO, they will say you can marry, but that marriage wont happen with our consent
What does your girl friend want from you then?
She wants you to fight with your parents for her, She wants you dont give up on her no matter what
Whole world’s love stories will come in picture, She will dig out all the stories in the world and you will listen to them and you will feel that you are the most spineless person in the world who cannot go against the parents to marry her
- What if you say this to the girl?
- You dont love me
- Somebody else is in your mind
- You have changed
- You cant do this for me, i am love of your life
And this all will be called empowering or motivating you, so that you can become strong to fight with your own parents to marry that gal
Now you have become strong enough, You go to the parents and ask for the reason why you cant marry her and why they are not agreeing for the same?
Now parents say
- That gal is not good
- Her horoscope doesnt match
- Her horoscope says, if you marry her you will die, But maa i love her, i will die even if i dont marry her, Maa: But horoscope says you will die
- She wont have good character, Horoscope says that
- You still want to marry her, you can marry but it wont be with our permission or blessing
- I asked can we ask another astrologer, Go check with any astrologer in the country, we have trust on our astrologer.. And you then you are fucked
- Have we raised you up, so that you can defy us
- Have i kept you 9 months in my womb to see this day
- I cant sacrifice my son, I dont want you to marry her
Now you go to the girl, telling all the arguments parents have told, and are telling not to marry
- Kill the astrologer
- Keep Fighting
- Be strong
- Check with more astrologers
- Please ask yout parents to consider it and agree, all parents agree
During all this what is happening to you
YOU ARE getting FUCKED..!!!
You have no idea, but you are mentally fucked from parents side, girlfriend side
Why this happened
Just because you wanted to get married to the girl you liked, the moment you discussed marriage things started going haywire at both parents end as well as your relationship end
You are so stressed and you undergo depression. You have no resort where to go..!!
You dont know whom to chose, and why to chose
Whose expectation to satisfy and whose to not?
Arrange marriage or Love Marriage, In both the cases nobody asks you the one important question
WHAT YOU WANT TO DO
They only tell what they want you to do..!!
And you no longer do anything to please yourself, but you are pleasing society or you are pleasing the social strata
But is it worth IT ??
IS it worth sacrificing yourself,
For that also thee are arguments
- Nobody can live their life alone, you need companion
- Child is your new father
- This is compulsory to be happy
I dont know whether, this piece of writing makes any sense to anybody, but eventually i have realised that
KEEP yourself Happy, Invest time in finding yourself
Most important thing for you in this life is YOU
Love YOURSELF first, Put YOURSELF first
No matter what..!!