Some people say ” Best friends Forever ” and I love you forever, the moment they say it they are lying to you on your face.. BEWARE..!!
Forever is a term which generally ruins almost every relationship, because people commit what they really can’t deliver and you also fall in trap seeing the commitment and dedication shown by the other person. It is same like mobile phone companies offering the UNLIMITED VALIDITY* with the * mark.
*till July 2020.
When a mobile company cannot give guarantee for a materialistic thing for more than 5 years, then how do you think a person can give guarantee of being the same forever, loving in the same manner forever.
The problem is not with saying that statement without meaning it, problem goes much beyond that. The problem is the moment you say that you are going to be there forever for somebody time and again, they start taking you granted. They think for this guy/gal is here to stay let me finish other prior works first.
What all things happen when you are put into FRIENDS FOREVER | LOVER FOREVER | TAKEN FOR GRANTED ZONE
- Phone calls: There was a time when your call was of utmost importance and they will do anything to just talk to you for few seconds. But after TAKEN for GRANTED, you will be told, I have been too busy lately, so many works to do, my boss has given me a lot of work I cannot do, I have umpteen number of things to do, you mean a lot to me. I HOPE YOU WILL UNDERSTAND.
This phrase I hope you will understand is very critical, You cant say NO as it is going to ruin whatever relation you have, and you dont want to say YES as your innerself knows that you are being put into TAKEN for GRANTED zone
- Meeting in person: Actually I wanted to meet you, I have been waiting very desperately, but what to say the time and circumstances are not favoring, pressure is piling up from all sides, Avalanche is happening. I dont know which side to contain first, i know you will be always there so I thought I need not worry about you, you are such an understanding person. So what that we are not able to meet, So what that we are not there. Our relationship goes beyond phone calls, messages and meeting in person. I am trying my level best to find some time to meet you. These and all will start happening if you are being TAKEN FOR GRANTED. If not, if you are not in the taken for granted zone, they will not say anything about their problems rather than that they will schedule calendar, find the slightest time available to spend with you in whatever location, May it be lunch break during the office or even ask you to walk with them after office, or even ask you to accompany to travel back with you in bus or train. So its not about time, its about you landing up in a zone called taken for granted zone
- Discussing NON SENSE: While they got an opportunity to find some time to call you or meet you, they will not talk about you two, they will talk about some third person who has suddenly entered their life, the lost friend or some interesting events which are happening in the family. More than your well being, it is important for them to ask and tell about what their neighbor or their colleague has done to them. because they know you are there thus you will be alright only, who cares.. So when the conversation between two individuals are not about themselves but one person keeps on talking about somebody else then you have been surely moved into that zone called TAKEN FOR GRANTED. There was a time when you loved discussing likes, dislikes, opinions, circumstances and many more things which are relevant to you two, the next vacation, the next holiday, the next weekend. But now suddenly you have been put into a zone called taken for granted
- Text Messages: There was a time when Good morning, Good evening, Good night were the customary messages. Asking did u had Breakfast, lunch and dinner used to a pattern. But slowly over the period of time reply for Hi, How are you also takes a long time to reply. There was a time when there used to be an instantaneous reply to the messages either as text message or whatsapp message. Now there will be times you will be talking to the same person in a whatsapp group but they wont bother to reply to your personal message. Being busy and not able to respond is one thing and not talking or replying as it is no longer interesting or you have been taken for granted is another thing. Taken for granted is something which you wont feel but over the period of time realize that it has happened
What happens if you confront the person that he/ She has started taken you for granted?
- They might not agree to you and tell you that you are thinking too much and you should not do the same, they are the same. it is just that you are thinking beyond what you should do
- They might apologise and say this will not happen again but repeat it again because it has become a habit, it is no longer something which they can relearn. They need to unlearn and learn, which is a daunting task
- They might pick up a fight back, asking why you have become so irritating suddenly that you are confronting them. And generally at this point of time, if both the partners become impatient and dont listen properly it might lead to a bad break in the relationship
- They might start saying that, have you found somebody else and you want to leave me, get rid off me as m no longer important in your life, But the actual reality is while taking you for granted they left you long back and the relationship was holding because the other person wanted to give ample amount of time before making a move
WHAT IS THE SOLUTION?
Solutions to these cases are very simple, but generally they are not taken and relationship goes for a toss
- Time: The person who is being taken for granted should leave the person as it is whatever the other person want to do, dont trouble them anyhow. Let them do whatever they want to do. Over the period of time if they realize on their own that is the best way to solve this problem as one person cannot change the habit unless they commit or convict themselves to make this work between you and that cannot happen without realization
- Talk it out: Although this is a good solution but it is a temporary one, you might feel good temporarily but if the person keeps on taking you for granted for a long period of time, you might feel frustrated and eventually leave. Thus this doesn’t form that concrete solution
To find absolute solution for any philosophical and relationship problem is always not possible. The only way out is give time and observe rather than take hasty decision.
After all taken for granted is a perspective problem, while you are feeling that you are being taken for granted, other person might also feel the same from your side..!! It depends which side of wall you are standing..!!
But reality is Nothing lasts forever till you really want it to..!!